Why everything takes so long to do on a boat

One of the first questions I always get about cruising is “What do you do with all your time on the boat?”  The thing one has to realize is that everything takes much longer to do on a boat.  They are complicated systems that need a lot of maintenance.   Here’s a hypothetical example….

CHORE:  Rinse the salt off the plastic dodger windows

1.     Go on deck.  Steal the hose and bucket Jim already has set up.  (This is a huge time saver!)

2.     Spray the dodger windows, port side.

3.     Go to the stern, get the sponge.

4.     Wash the outside port windows.

5.     Grab the hose.

6.     Go Down Below to get the small screw driver required to repair the end fitting of hose that pops off in your hand.

7.     Listen to Jim lecture me on how to use the hose.

8.     Repair the end fitting of hose that pops off in your hand.

9.     Go Below and return the small screwdriver to where it lives so you can find it again.

10. Rinse the outside of port dodger windows.

11. Spray the outside Starboard dodger windows.

12. Give Jim back the hose.

13. Go Down Below get the small screw driver required to repair the end fitting of hose that pops off while handing the hose to Jim.

14. Listen to Jim lecture me on how to pass him the hose.

15. Repair the end fitting of hose.

16. Return the small screw driver down below to where it lives so you can find it again.

17. REALLY CAREFULLY Wash the outside Stbd dodger windows.

18. REALLY CAREFULLY Spray the inside dodger windows.

19. REALLY CAREFULLY take the hose and rinse the Starboard windows.

20. REALLY CAREFULLY give the hose back to Jim.

21. Return the small screw driver Down Below to where it lives so you can find it again.

22. Wash the inside of the windows.

23. Go get the small screw driver down below required to repair the end fitting of hose that pops off when Jim hangs the hose on the lifeline.

24. Pause to Listen to the small silence while no one gets lectured…

25. Repair the end fitting of hose.

26. Get the wrench from below for Jim so he can really fix the hose fitting this time.

27. Fuck it!  Leave the small screwdriver on deck.

28. REALLY CAREFULLY take the hose and rinse the inside of the windows.

29. Listen to Jim say, “Now that the windows are clean, why don’t you polish them…”

30. Kill Jim with the small screw driver, once I find it!

3 thoughts on “Why everything takes so long to do on a boat

  1. Hey swab. C’mere. Listen up. Now, the way it works shipboard is, you do your job. You do it good, you get a better job. Maybe you get promoted from swab to mate.

    Like

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